Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
