this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
