I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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