your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
