it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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