I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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