spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
