i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
