He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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