Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
