I got chris browned last night
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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