Pants 0. Shit 1.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
