pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
