you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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