If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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