Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
