i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
