She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
