3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
