I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
