Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
