I take back everything I said about communal showers
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
