dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
