Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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