rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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