Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
