So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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