3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
