Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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