My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
