I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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