girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
