Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
