What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
