The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
