I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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