We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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