Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
