I think I just saw someone hide a body.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
