The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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