When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
