Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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