JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
