Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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