This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
