I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The air was thick with penises
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
