Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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