I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Its about making memories worth repressing
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
