I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
