it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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